I started this blog so that my sister could keep up-to-date with my kids' happenings and feel like she knew our day-to-day. However, she didn't move to Tennessee as it turns out, but I am still blogging. I didn't think I would enjoy it, really, as well as the fact that it's a litte presumptuous to think that people might really want to read about you and your family all the time, as if there aren't more important things happening around us. But, according to the Feedjit tracker, people in a lot of places are reading this blog, and that is fine by me; it's actually kind of nice.
This month has been a very busy one, and sometimes I wonder how I managed to get it all done and still leave everyone feeling good about how our life works (except sometimes me). I am not complaining by any means, and I knew three kids would not be a breeze. But it's true: there is no time left for me, ever. I sneak time away by going to the grocery store alone(great fun!), taking 1 hour between dinner and the time Stefan needs to leave to take #1 to taekwon do in order to use my birthday gift certificate for a pedicure, or leaving the kids at daycare for one extra hour so I can get a massage when I go to the chiropractor. Then I feel tremendous guilt that I have taken time away from my kids. So much so that sometimes, I can't even enjoy doing above-mentioned things, some of which are necessary. Maybe I'm sick. I think it's more common than people realize, though, and I have yet to hear a good father say, "I feel so guilty about going to work." Work is a dad's expectation but a mom's poor choice, and I don't understand the disconnect. I do choose to work because I have bills to pay, because I went to school (twice) and earned a degree (two), and because I value the benefits of good health care for my family. On the flipside, I would also like to be the supermom who makes homemade delicacies with her young children, visits every attraction in Southeastern Michigan and takes appropriate pictures with said children looking happy and well-dressed, who welcomes her husband home with a nice dinner and boys quietly playing and the baby has become a genius child with amazing tricks, and everyone is ready to tell dad about their wonderful day. Are you laughing yet? Because the reality is that we bought a zoo pass in May and have used it only one time (the same day we bought it), that I have successfully convinced Spencer that fake seafood is real seafood and that he likes it, and if we have pizza night once a week, I feel smug. I have also realized that if I put a movie on in the van for #2 between the time I pick up the little kids and wait for Spencer in the carpool line, it counts as quality time with the baby or I can read a whole magazine article and fulfill my duty to be well-informed about the latest and greatest in child rearing and good citizenship or how to be "green". I'm exhausted just writing about it all, and in the back of my mind I question my choices. And then, when the dust settles and the sun is sinking and my babies find no better place than my lap and a story and a good talk, all those misgivings are gone. Is it like this for everyone? I wonder often.
I will update September later on. There are lots of good pictures, first days, birthdays, and fun stuff to share!